THEY DID IT! THOSE BASTARDS, THEY ACTUALLY DID IT!
Accounting majors who hurt you
i read this as the beginning of a list, not as a question
Accounting majors who hurt you:
- kakashi from accounting
god nerfed me by making me allergic to garlic and sunlight
so, a vampire?
i can confirm that i am not a vampire as i have blood
Is it your blood?
it is blood, yes
Is it blood that has always belonged to you, from the moment of your spawning?
it is blood, it is in my possession, therefore it is my blood
things i say that confuse and worry my coworkers:
- “happy birthday” every time i hand them something
- “well, that’s not ideal” whenever something is going wrong
- “we are in the timeline that god abandoned” whenever i’m mildly inconvenienced
- “can’t you see that your fighting is tearing this family apart?” whenever two or more coworkers are arguing
- referring to taking medication as “eating medicine”
- “time to go back to prison!” when putting animals back in their cages
- referring to inanimate objects as (s)he, particularly when i break something and say “oh no, he’s dead.” this concerns them especially when i follow it up with “that’s not ideal”
- “what are they gonna do, fire me?”
I work in a blood bank, and constantly refer to blood types as flavors, such as “Oh, you need two units? What flavor is he?” And my older coworkers just look at me confused but my coworker that’s my age doesn’t miss a beat and responds “A Pos”
this is probably my favorite comment on this post so far
To All the Mutuals I Still Follow Even Though We Only Had That One Hyperfixation in Common Like Five Years Ago
those Spotify Wrapped ads are popping up around Chicago and could you imagine seeing a fucking billboard calling you out specifically. like, if i saw an ad that said “to the person in Chicago who listened to a playlist called ‘depwession’ for 800 hours…please call a therapist” i’d fly to Spotify HQ with the head of Ed Sheeran and declare war on their kind
bec, much like the creme brulee brownie recipe, the spotify ads are not real. they were written by advertisers. they are telling lies. writing is fake. i know this in my heart to be true because i have LOOKED for the clam meditation playlist
several things about this reply haunt me. first of all this person referred to me by first name even tho i don’t know them, my name’s not on my blog, and they don’t follow me. second of all they told me something that is almost certainly true and i am 100% galaxy brained over it. can u dm me? tell me secrets
people who don’t say please and thank you are ugly
You sound neurotypical.
ALSLSFLVNCMFLFLSLFKGKF yall GOTTA stop using ur illnesses as excuses for being rude dicks to people what the fuck
About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire.
Second,
And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.
if you wake up while McDonald’s is still serving breakfast then you’re doing good
doesnt mcdonalds have all day breakfast now?
if you wake up at all then you’re doing good
a lot of people to this day think that a professional ice skater did those skating scenes from i, tonya (2017) but it was all margot robbie… she literally trained five days a week for five months and her skating coach was astonished with her progress AND SHE DIDNT EVEN GET NOMINATED FOR HER ROLE like her 3D head scans were taken and then were superimposed on her doubles’ faces when they skated close to the camera but for someone to train 5 times a week for 5 months… SHE HAS THE RANGEEEE
margot robbie apparently got a herniated disc in her neck during training for this role, but didn’t notice until a week into shooting when her arms started going numb??? margot robbie also practically became a fucking gymnast for the role of harley quinn, doing the scene where she runs up the sides and ceiling of an elevator in heels on her own without a harness.
the academy awards:
Margot Robbie Deserves Better
This is actually what method acting is.
Maybe some dude bros in Hollywood should write it down.